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Sometimes it's necessary to "go to war" to get a fair result in a divorce. But most of the time people just need some legal help untangling their lives and going about the rest of their lives. With my business background and general nature, I am able to help the overwhelming majority of my clients achieve an agreed divorce, instead of relying on strangers to dictate the terms of divorce. I will do what I can to help divorcing spouses remain friends, or at least associates who can get along. I will do everything I can to keep the children from becoming pawns in a game they don't want to play. I will help the parties reach a fair result.
There are several approaches we can take to your divorce. First, if you and your spouse are able to agree on all the terms of divorce without intervention of attorneys or mediators, this is the fastest and cheapest way to get divorced. I have written a workbook to help you and your spouse make all the necessary choices, and I give it away free to my new divorce clients. If you and your spouse complete all of it and return it to me promptly, I can guarantee you my lowest fee. Also, I guarantee that you will be divorced within 67 days of the filing of the petition.
Texas is now a "no fault" state, meaning that a person desiring a divorce does not have to prove that his/her spouse is at fault in the marriage. The most common grounds for divorce is that "the marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities between you that has destroyed the legitimate ends of the marriage." However, there are several other possible "fault" grounds for divorce which a person may use, including adultery, cruelty, conviction of a felony, abandonment, living apart, and confinement in mental hospital.
Sometimes a client will want to file for divorce and use a fault, such as adultery. I always try to talk them out of it. Well over 99% of all divorces are settled by agreement, and it's just harder to reach an agreement with someone when you have called them names in public.
Jurisdiction and venue can be very complicated. But it's a whole lot simpler if you're planning on doing a Civilized DivorceSM. That is, if you and your spouse are going to agree on the terms, then you're also going to agree on jurisdiction and venue, and we don't have to get into all the complications of a contested matter.
For example, if you live in Texas, you can file a lawsuit in Texas. But, can Texas assert its authority over your spouse? We could get into all sorts of questions about whether your spouse has ever lived in Texas, whether y'all lived together in Texas, and on and on. But, your spouse can consent to Texas jurisdiction by signing the papers. In that case, it really doesn't matter whether Texas has jurisdiction over your spouse because your spouse has agreed to Texas jurisdiction. So, as a practical matter, you can file in Texas if either one of you has lived in Texas for the last 6 months and if the other spouse will be signing the papers. Or, if one of you is in the military, or working overseas, Texas can still have jurisdiction if the permanent address is in Texas.
If Texas has jurisdiction, which county must the divorce be filed in? Well, the analysis is much the same. You can file in the county where either one of you has lived for the last 90 days, assuming the other party will agree to the venue. It only gets complicated if it's a contested matter where you're expecting hearings or a trial, and one of you doesn't want to have the trial or hearing in that other county.
Motions for modification of existing court orders (such as to change the amount of child support), or to enforce orders (such as to put someone in jail for not paying child support as ordered) must be filed in the court that originally issued the order to be modified or enforced, unless good reason can be shown to transfer the case to another court (such as, that the child now lives in another county).
Steps in an Agreed (Minimum Fee) Divorce
After consultation with my client, I'll file a Petition for divorce. This is usually only about two pages long, and sets out the basic facts: Fred married Wilma on 7/7/1997, they have one child (Pebbles), Fred and Wilma aren't getting along and are asking the court for a divorce. I file the Petition with only my signature on it. The date the Petition is filed with the court starts a 60-day waiting period.
I'll give my client a copy of my Civilized Divorce Workbook to help the parties craft their own divorce. As soon as I get it back, I'll draft a Decree of Divorce. This will spell out all the terms of the divorce: who gets what, who the child lives with, when the other parent may see the child, how much child support is paid, and so forth. The shortest decree I've written is 7 pages, and a divorce decree with children involved will often run to 42 pages or so. I'll send the draft to my client, and he or she will ask questions, correct mistakes, and change provisions.
Once my client and I are in agreement on the wording of the decree, we'll send it to the other spouse (or his or her attorney, if there is one), along with a Waiver of Service (see next section). There may be some more changes, but when everybody agrees on the wording of the decree, the other spouse will sign the Waiver of Service before a notary, sign the Decree, and return the documents to me.
Under Texas law, the Petition must have been on file at the courthouse for at least 60 days before the divorce may be granted. So, if I get the signed documents back before 60 days from the date of filing, we must wait until day 61.
My client and I will pick a day that's convenient for us and go to the courthouse to "prove up" the divorce. No appointment is necessary: civil proveups are always taken care of before any other business. Click here to watch a video of a divorce proveup.
Many of my phone calls from clients are about what happens next. Here's the order:
Will a Constable or Process Server See my Spouse at Work?
The Court will not grant the divorce until we prove that your spouse knew that the divorce petition had been filed. Oddly enough, your spouse's signature on the Divorce Decree is not enough. There are three ways this can be accomplished:
Any one of these three will serve our purposes, but the third is the least expensive and causes the least disruption, and most of my divorces are done with a Waiver of Service.
No. It is a conflict of interest for me to represent both sides in a divorce. I will not even meet with your spouse, except perhaps toward the end of the divorce, but everyone must be clear that I am negotiating against your spouse, and that I simply cannot give any legal advice whatever to your spouse.
However, in many cases, I will be the only lawyer involved. I'll draw up the papers, your spouse will review them and sign them. Sometimes the spouse will take the final papers to a lawyer for a quick review, and sometimes they'll hire a lawyer and we'll proceed with negotiations from there.
I've had so many people who wanted to have their spouse hear what I have to say that I had to figure out a way to get them the information they needed without violating any ethical standards. Finally, I created a 2-hour, 2-CD recording, "Everything I Always Wanted to Say in a Divorce Consultation But Didn't Have the Time." The only thing missing is applying the law and my advice to your particular situation. Click here for more on this offer.
Community property is all property acquired during the marriage except that acquired by gift or inheritance. The court cannot generally divide separate property, but it can consider separate property when deciding on a just and right division of community property.
The first rule is that if husband and wife agree on a split, that's OK with the courts, whether it's 50/50, or very lopsided. But, to guide you in a decision, you may want to consider what would happen if you didn't agree and had a trial. The divorce court is supposed to make a "just and right" division of the community property. This does not mean 50/50, although that is where most courts start before they begin hearing evidence.
Click here for an Excel spreadsheet you can download and use it to analyze property division.
In making a just and right division of property, the Court may consider a number of factors, including fault in breakup of the marriage, relative earning capacity of each spouse, the needs of any children, and other factors.
Dividing Retirement Benefits (QDROs)
If your property division includes moving money from one person's retirement account into an account for the other person, we may need to use a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (called a QDRO, pronounced KWAD-row). We do not need a QDRO to move money from one person's IRA to the other, but we do need them to take money out of most other retirement accounts, including 401(k), 403(b), pensions, and so forth. The QDRO is a special order from the court which moves money out of the retirement account into an IRA in the other spouse's name. This doesn't trigger any taxes or penalties, but when you take the money out of the IRA there will be taxes owed, and there may be penalties if they're withdrawn early. The QDRO is a very specialized document, and I have a different lawyer, a specialist, draw it up for us. Her fee is usually $350 for the first QDRO in one divorce, and $100 for each additional QDRO in the same divorce. Plus, the company that administers the retirement plan being divided may charge for processing a QDRO (click here to see an article from The Wall Street Journal.)
A couple of other points to keep in mind if you're wrapping up your divorce and a QDRO is involved:
Educational Aside on QDROs — WARNING: you don't need to know this.
Under the concept of Federalism in the US Constitution (as clarified by the war between the states), states cannot control the federal government. By extension, state divorce courts have no direct power over federal retirement systems. However, the folks who administer federal retirement systems understand that people get divorced and that it's appropriate to provide ways for divorce courts to divide federal retirement accounts. So, the regulations governing federal retirement systems contain provisions whereby an order from a state divorce court can control what happens to a particular retirement plan if the order meets the criteria established in the retirement plan's regulations.
Around 1900 employer-sponsored retirement plans started showing up. In the 1920s the federal income tax came along, and legislation was developed to determine whether a retirement plan was exempt from federal income taxes. In order to regulate private pensions, congress passed the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974. ("ERISA")
ERISA is the law that governs 401(k) plans (in fact, I think that "401(k)" is the section/paragraph number of ERISA legislation that sets up that kind of retirement plan). In the ERISA legislation, they refer to an order from a divorce court to divide benefits as a "domestic relations order", and if the order fits the criteria within ERISA, it becomes a "qualified" order, hence a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO.
If the retirement benefits don't fall under ERISA, then we don't need a QDRO to divide them.
- Federal retirement benefits (that is, retirement plans for federal employees), military retirement benefits, many state and municipal retirement plans, and some "non-qualified" private retirement plans do not fall under ERISA legislation. They may need a special order to divide the benefits, and the order may look an awful lot like a QDRO, but we don't call them QDROs because we don't need to use the terminology specified in ERISA. I'll probably have my QDRO lawyer prepare an order, and the fee will be the same or a little higher than that for a QDRO.
- Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs) are also outside of ERISA legislation, but we do NOT need a special order to divide the benefits. We just divide the IRA in the Final Decree of Divorce, and you take a certified copy of the Decree to the bank or brokerage company that has the IRA, and they split the funds.
Stock Options
Stock options acquired during the marriage are community property and are subject to a just and right division at divorce. If the options won't vest until after the divorce is final, then there's a separate property interest in that portion between the date of divorce and the earliest date the options could legally be exercised.
Even if the stock options have no value at the time of divorce because the value of the stock is lower than the option price, there may be sufficient hope that the stock price will rise before the options expire so that the options could have value in the future.
If you decide to divde stock options in the divorce, there are two different approaches. First, it may be possible to divide the options using a QDRO (see above), in which case the non-employee spouse winds up with the options in his/her name and can exercise them whenever he/she wants.
However, often the stock options cannot be divided with a QDRO (depends on the company and the nature of the stock option plan). In that case, the only practical way to divide the options is to use the Final Decree of Divorce to make the employee spouse a trustee for the benefit of the non-employee spouse. The stock options would remain legally in the name of the employee spouse, and when the non-employee ex-spouse wishes to exercise the options, he/she notifies the employee ex-spouse of the desire to exercise. Then, the employee ex-spouse exercises the option, reduces the net proceeds by the income taxes he or she will have to pay on them, and then send the net amount to the non-employee ex-spouse.
Follow this link for an article on stock options.
Note on dividing house equity
The biggest trick in dividing house equity is deciding how much equity there is in the house. First, how much could the house really be sold for? Second, if the house really were sold, you'd incur costs of sale around 8%, but they're not really incurred if the house isn't sold -- so should these costs be deducted when figuring how much equity there is? If you and your spouse can agree, there's no problem. If you had a trial, the judge would almost certainly order the house to be sold and the proceeds divided, so the judge doesn't have to decide how much the house is worth.
Having decided how much equity there is in the house, you need to decide how to divide it. First, you can compensate for it with other assets. Suppose Bob and Sue are getting divorced. Bob has a 401(k) plan at work worth about $40,000. Sue has no retirement accounts, and will be keeping the house, and the house has about $40,000 in equity in it. Bob and Sue agree it's fair for Bob to keep all of his retirement and Sue to keep all of the house equity.
You can also deed the house from one person to the other, and provide that the person keeping the house must refinance it to get the other person off of the deed, and to pull out cash to pay them their share of the equity. This is a little more ticklish and involved than it might appear, because under the Texas Constitution, a cash-out refinance cannot bring the total debt on the house to more than 80% of the fair market value (so, if the house is worth $200,000, and $160,000 is owed on it, you can't pull out any cash at refinance to pay off the spouse leaving the home). EXCEPT that there are other ways to take care of this. An owelty lien established in a divorce through an owelty deed can be paid off at refinance, even if that brings the total debt to more than 80% of the fair market value.
Alimony
Alimony is periodic payments from one former spouse to another to support the receiving spouse for a specified period, until certain circumstances come to pass, or the death of the receiving spouse. Prior to September 1, 1995, Texas courts could not order alimony unless the parties agreed to alimony contractually. However, the courts can now award alimony without an agreement under certain circumstances. Alimony can be made to survive a bankruptcy, and it can shift the tax burden to the receiving spouse, thereby reducing overall tax liability. There are many tax traps surrounding alimony. Contact a certified public accountant regarding tax implications.
Dividing Debt
Community property law doesn't apply to debt, as debt falls under contract law. If you don't pay your debts, your creditor can only come after whoever signed a contract, or come after whatever property was purchased with the debt. As a general rule, they can't come after the other spouse, although if they don't get paid, they may be able to mess up your credit rating pretty well. Debts incurred during the marriage are also allocated at the time of divorce, as part of making the just and right division of community property. However, if the spouse who is assigned the debt refuses to pay or declares bankruptcy after the divorce, then the creditor may look to the other spouse for repayment. This will occasionally force the second spouse into bankruptcy.
If you're concerned your spouse is going to incur debt in your name, consider contacting a credit bureau and asking them to place a Victim Statement in your record.
You need to contact the Social Security Administration for details on how divorce may affect your Social Security Benefits. However, there's nothing that we can put in a divorce decree that affects your Social Security benefits. That is, the Social Security Administration will change your benefits or not as their policy allows, and nothing in the divorce decree changes any of that.
In divorce, the name change is properly called a "restoration of former name." If the name change is not at time of divorce, or is not to a former name, other rules apply. The restoration of former name can be done by simply adding a paragraph to the proposed divorce decree, and supported by brief sworn testimony at the time the divorce is "proved up" that (1) this is a change to a previous name; (2) the name change is not sought to avoid criminal prosecution; and (3) the name change is not sought to avoid creditors. There is no additional charge for this type of name change, and can be easily accommodated if you just notify me while we are drafting the decree.
In Dallas County, judges are getting pickier about name changes, and sometimes require an affidavit to be signed and sworn to. This can usually be avoided if the woman is present at the proveup and can give live testimony in support of the name change.
Caution: Whether in a divorce or for other reasons, the judge will usually try to talk a parent out of changing his or her last name if it results in the child having a different last name from the parent. The judges see children fairly frequently who wish they had the same last name as their parents.
My office is in Plano, Texas, and I work primarily in Collin, Dallas, and Denton counties.
It works best when you come to my office for our first meeting, although in unusual circumstances we can get things started without a face to face meeting. Often in an agreed divorce my client will come to my office only one time, for the initial meeting. Everything else is handled by email, fax, telephone, and mail.
The forms in this section require Adobe Acrobat Reader for you to view them and print them. If you experience problems, it may be because you have an older version of Acrobat Reader. Whether you need to download it for the first time, or you need an update, it's a free download from www.adobe.com.
Here's a divorce consultation form. Please print it out, fill it out, and bring it with you to our initial consultation.
Also, I strongly suggest, but do not require, that you print out the Civilized DivorceSM Pledge, and bring it to me with your spouse's signature.
Click here to request a consultation.
Also, I strongly suggest, but do not require, that you print out the Civilized DivorceSM Pledge, and bring it to me with your spouse's signature.
What is a Civilized DivorceSM?
Sometimes it's necessary to "go to war" to get a fair result in a divorce. But most of the time people just need some legal help untangling their lives and going about the rest of their lives. With my business background and general nature, I am able to help the overwhelming majority of my clients achieve an agreed divorce, instead of relying on strangers to dictate the terms of divorce. I will do what I can to help divorcing spouses remain friends, or at least associates who can get along. I will do everything I can to keep the children from becoming pawns in a game they don't want to play. I will help the parties reach a fair result.
Before you come to see me, please download this form, print it out, fill it out, and bring it with you to our consultation: dvint.pdf
There are several approaches we can take to your divorce. First, if you and your spouse are able to agree on all the terms of divorce without intervention of attorneys or mediators, this is the fastest and cheapest way to get divorced. I have written a workbook to help you and your spouse make all the necessary choices, and I give it away free to my new divorce clients. If you and your spouse complete all of it and return it to me promptly, I can guarantee you my lowest fee. Also, I guarantee that you will be divorced within 67 days of the filing of the petition.
Also, I strongly suggest, but do not require, that you print out the Civilized DivorceSM Pledge, and bring it to me with your spouse's signature.
What is a Collaborative Divorce?
First, it's important that you recognize that "Collaborative Divorce" is not just another way of saying "Friendly Divorce," "Uncontested Divorce," or "Agreed Divorce." There's a separate section of the Family Code for Collaborative Divorce, with entirely separate rules and procedures.
If you and your spouse really don't want to go to war, but can't reach an agreement without help, or if the situation is complicated enough that both sides need lawyers or other experts, one good way of doing is Collaborative Divorce. The purpose is to make divorce less combative and more cooperative. Most of the work in reaching an agreement is through a series of "4-way" meetings of both spouses and both lawyers. In order to assure that everyone remains committed to reaching a peaceful settlement, the lawyers will sign agreements that if the client decides to go to trial (that is, to break off the settlement effort), the lawyer must withdraw and the client must find a new lawyer.
The parties agree to provide each other with all the information necessary for everybody involved to work toward a win-win settlement. Because the parties voluntarily provide the information, there is less hostility in trying to compel the other side to do something. The lawyers change roles from preparing for trial into facilitating a settlement.
Collaborative Divorce may or may not include mediation. If the parties reach an agreement without mediation, then, of course, mediation is not necessary. However, if the parties are unable to reach an agreement, it may be useful to schedule a mediation to help the parties settle. If they do not settle by the end of mediation, then all that is left is trial. In Collaborative Divorce a trial may only be reached if both parties fire their lawyers and hire new counsel, allowing a reasonable time for the new lawyers to get up to speed. This provision guarantees that the Collaborative Divorce lawyers will do everything they can to get the parties to settle without going to trial.
Collaborative Divorce is an option. But one of my quirks is that I don't like keeping track of my time so I can bill my clients. And the only fair way to charge legal fees in a Collaborative Divorce is to track attorney time by the hour. So, I've decided not to handle Collaborative Divorces.
Collaborative Divorce is not for everyone, even for folks who plan to be agreeable. Collaborative divorce is not the quickest, fastest, cheapest way to get divorced:
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Following are some links to other sites about Collaborative Divorce, Collaborative Law, and Collaborative Family Law. Be aware, however, that Collaborative Divorce means slightly different things in different parts of the country. For example, in some areas Collaborative Divorce means involvement of a number of other professionals, such as child psychologists, investment advisors, therapists, accountants, and others. These professionals can be used in Texas Collaborative Divorce, but they are not all needed as a matter of routine.
Collaborative Divorce may not be the cheapest, fastest way for you to get divorced, because it requires both sides to have attorneys, and requires one or more meetings with both attorneys on the clock. If you think you and your spouse can reach an agreement without a meeting with both attorneys present, it'll be less expensive to do what I call Civilized DivorceSM.
The Collaborative Law Institute
Fred A. Rico, Attorney at Law, Collaborative Law Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's)
The Coalition for Cooperative Divorce
Folks often don't know whether their divorce is going to be contested or not, so it's difficult for me to quote a flat fee. I have developed a Civilized DivorceSM Pledge which the parties can sign. It's not binding in a court of law, but it's a promise that everyone will try to keep tempers down and try to reach an agreement. Think of it as a "play fair agreement" or "don't make me hurt you." Click here to view the Civilized DivorceSM Pledge.
Yes. But the cheapest way to get a haircut is to buy the clippers from WalMart. Most folks choose to use a skilled person to trim their hair for them, even though it isn't the cheapest way to get it done.
Top 13 Signs Your Divorce Forms Weren't Written by a Texas Lawyer (and are likely to be rejected by the judge):
While we're at it, here are the top 4 questions a judge will ask at the final hearing that will stop a divorce cold, if the parties don't have an attorney to help them prepare answers:
Click here to schedule an appointment
Click here to request a FREE Civilized Divorce Guidebook
But if my fees really are too much for you, I've got two other alternatives.
Lawyer-assisted, do-it-yourself divorce (“docs only”)
We meet and discuss your situation. We go through a Workbook and you take it home. You fill out the workbook and return it to me. I prepare documents for you and return them to you with instructions for filing your divorce, and instructions on how to prove up the divorce when the time comes. I only do revisions to the documents if I didn't do what the Workbook instructed me to do. I don't sign any of the documents, I don't go with you to the courthouse. My fees will be $800 less than what you get with the fee estimator:
Click here for the fee estimator
Click here to schedule an appointment
Click here to request a FREE Civilized Divorce Guidebook
Just the forms and instructions.
If everything I've just said doesn't convince you that you need a lawyer to help you through the process, and you just want some forms so you can do it yourself, that's OK with me. I can't sell you the forms I use, because of my licensing agreement with the Family Law Section of the State Bar of Texas. But, I have found a service that does a nice job of preparing documents for you without you having to pay for a lawyer’s advice. I don’t guarantee the forms, but they do. One thing I really like is that they ask you questions in plain English, which you answer at your own pace, online, and then they prepare the documents for you. Not just a fill-in-the-blank form, but document assembly based on your particular situation. Short of paying for a lawyer’s advice, it’s the best I’ve found.
Click here just for the forms and instructions